Feeling Bad

I should be feeling much better than I am at this point in the chemo cycle. I had chemo well over a week ago (Friday June 19). I'm exhausted, dizzy, hot, cold, and in major pain from the Neupogen shot I had yesterday. I've been trying to push myself to be "normal" today, but the harder I try the worse I feel. I even took a nap with River and Raine and asked Skye if she could play in her bed since she wasn't tired. It's so good to know I can trust her. She sat up in her bed playing so nicely and when I got up she came out with hugs and kisses for me. I thawed out some chicken for dinner but can't even imagine having to cook so I emailed the hubby and asked him for suggestions. He's going to make "chicken 'n cheese" - it's chicken breast cut up and mixed with chicken flavored rice-a-roni with melted cheddar over the top - so easy a husband can do it.

Sunday we went to 7 Mile Fair. It was me, the hubby, the girls, my sister and brother in-law, my parents, and my aunt and uncle. We were there from about 11 to 2:30ish. It was a lot of walking, but I really felt good and could've kept going. I don't know if that's why I'm feeling so run down the last two days or if my counts have dropped or what's going on.

I've noticed that my feet have been really stinky lately. I read up on nail fungus and figured out that's what's going on - it's not my feet, it's my nail(s). I've been soaking my feet in apple cider vinegar to kill the fungus but it's tedious and I'd have to do this for months and months - months to kill the fungus and months to grow back new nails so that's a lot of apple cider vinegar. I also read that lemon grass oil will kill the fungus and it should come with a dropper but that it'll turn my nails black. I'm so upset about this. I'd rather my hair had fallen out than have to deal with this. This is going to be at least a 6 month battle. So far it's just my thumb nails and big toe nails and they're really coming apart from the nail beds - thus the fungus. It seems pointless to start treating it now because I have more chemo and it's going to keep affecting my nails, but I also don't want it to spread to my other nails.

I've also been going to the bathroom a lot lately. My bum is killing me and I feel gross all the time. On days like today I'm afraid to get into the shower because of the dizzy spells. I'm trying not to be frustrated about this - I'd rather have things moving than the alternative which I've already experienced, but it's so painful. I bought myself some adult wipes to help relieve the discomfort of wiping, but sitting has even become an uncomfortable practice.

I'm really hoping to feel better by the weekend. My family is coming from up North and my guilt trip on my cousin Jesse worked. We're going to be sitting outside our friend's bar for the parade and then heading over to my Aunt and Uncle's house for an all day party. She even bought a pool for the kids to play in. This weekend is so important to me because we don't see them often and they've been keeping in touch with me, sending me their prayers and love and I just really want to see them.