Results pt. 2

You know, the mind is an amazing thing. I was watching tv waiting for 10:30 to roll around and when it did, I stood up to get ready to go and instantly my stomach started burning. I wondered what the hell I ate, and realized that one blueberry eggo could not possibly be the culprit. I tried to go into daydream mode (my usual mode anyway) but couldn't focus on any of the usual suspects. I brushed my teeth, checked my hair and got my coat on. When I got in the van, the burning turned into pain and I felt like I was going to throw up. "Oh God", I thought to myself. "The last thing I need is the flu."

I got in the van and put on one of my favorite happy songs, trying to distract myself. The six minute drive to the hospital seemed like 45 minutes. By the time I got a few blocks away from my house, I was wavering between laughing at myself for feeling like I was going to puke and crying. The closer I got the hospital, the more my stomach burned that chemo burn, as if I drank poison and my hands started shaking. I had one fist up to my mouth for a mini dry-heave and was now trying desperately not to cry and to focus on the happy song. All of this was out of my control, and I remembered going thru the same thing six months ago...and six months before that.

Finally I got there and my legs felt like they were made out of cement; they were so heavy. I got into the office and was sure that Diane the secretary was acting stand-offish toward me. As she scanned my insurance card, I looked at my chart and saw CT chest with no IV contrast 1/11, Pet scheduled. I started sweating as I sat there. I kept wondering why a PET was scheduled.

Roberta RN came and got me and took me to a room, where she checked my vitals and took my blood and history for the last six months. I kept trying to read her, to see if she knew anything but I couldn't. She ran my blood over to lab and I grabbed that clipboard with that yellow piece of paper with the "PET scheduled" written on it...below that it said "faxed 6/28" - whew, it was old!

Dr. Howard interrupted Roberta's questioning of me, and I thought it was very peculiar that I didn't have to wait to see her. Again, I started shaking as she told me that my CT looks EXCELLENT!!!!

Hip Hop Hooray!

I can breathe again.