MUGA 'n Stuff

The results of my MUGA show my ejection fraction only went up from 52% to 55% - a far cry from the strong 69% it started at. The news was quite devastating to me. I should've asked her if it would continue to improve, but I was feeling so completely exhausted I didn't even think of it until later. I'm going to put it on my list for my next appointment and ask if I can have another MUGA before my 6-month appointment.

On the plus side of this appointment, I scheduled my last two chemo appointments. As my doctor wrote the dates down on her orders, I got teary...tears of joy that finally I can see an end to all of this...maybe.

I do have to go see the radiation doctor again for a "definite 'yes' or 'no'". The clinic called to schedule me, but my "plan" at that clinic was to make an appointment for a planning session and they didn't understand that this was a reconsult due to new information (the whole cancer around the lung thing). Again, devastation at the mere thought of having to go thru anything else to do with this fucking cancer. At this point I think I may just refuse the radiation no matter what they say.

My last chemo the side effects were so mild that I think I may just be able to go camping - at least for one night. I'm waiting until this next one before I get excited tho. It could just be that I was on a break so long it didn't affect my body like it normally does. But Tuesday, sweet Tuesday will be the second to last chemo and I'm so looking forward to it. I'm actually excited about it because I know there's only one more after this.

I've started planning for the next phase of my life - the phase I have been putting off for the last two years. I'm going to get in shape and get healthy. I'm not going to go crazy and I'm going to start off slow. I don't want to shock my body in any way, shape, or form. The last shock to my body was quitting smoking and look how well that worked out for me. But I have a short-term plan for starting and as I progress, I'll increase my activity, etc. I'm the type of person who can only do one thing at a time as far as life goes. I quit smoking and that's the only change I made that year because it required my focus and complete attention. So did cancer. And so will my next plan.

And 2010 will be the Year of Sarah. I will declare it so.